As another semester of teaching ends, it occurs to me that perhaps some students do not understand how to approach their professors appropriately. Therefore, in this post I will describe the appropriate etiquette.
The relationship you have with your professors is like any other professional relationship, and it starts with the very first contact. Follow the guidelines below to help ensure success in communicating with your professors.
- Engage your professor. Ask intelligent questions during class, or ask to discuss a topic of interest to you during office hours. Set a positive tone for the rest of the semester. Establish a relationship with us! Ask our opinion! We like that. It’s why we teach.
- Be on time. It is disruptive and disrespectful to enter class late even if the syllabus states that a few minutes is OK. And don’t just jump up whenever you feel like it to walk around or go to the bathroom. We notice when you do these things and we are not impressed.
- Exhibit professional behavior in class. We are serious when we tell you not to have sidebar conversations, or use your phones or computers during class. It is disrespectful to us. It is disrespectful to those around you. It is particularly disrespectful when your fellow students are doing a presentation.
- Graciously accept “no” as an answer. If you ask us to do something and we refuse, accept our answer. We are not senile or hard of hearing. We heard your request and decided not to grant it. We don’t need you to repeat the request using different words.
- Do not ask to be the exception to these, or any other rules or policies. It annoys us and does not place you in a good light. It also concerns us: is this a preview of how you plan to act in other professional environments? As counseling students, you are to some degree a product of our program. You may not realize this, but your bad behavior could give your school a bad reputation, and could affect placement of future students. This is not fair to us, or to them.
- Do not confront us in front of other students, especially if you are upset. These students are your future colleagues- why do you want to show them your worst self? It pains us to watch you destroy your professional image like this. For example, if you are upset about your grade, wait until after you have calmed down and then ask to speak with us in private. When you do, limit your comments or questions to the material. If you’ve taken the time to establish a good relationship with us, we are going to be much more amenable to listening to your problem. This does not mean that we will give you special treatment, because that wouldn’t be fair to your fellow students. But we may be able to make some helpful suggestions.
- Regarding questions about grades, frame your concern in the form of a question, not a complaint. If you think we have forgotten or overlooked something, ask about it; point it out. But do not argue with us. And do not try to reframe arguments into questions. This annoys everyone, and it makes you sound whiney.
Professors are human; treating us with respect will ultimately benefit you.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Barbara LoFrisco
