As a private practitioner and educator, I often get various requests from students I have never met. And I am rather appalled at the lack of professionalism. I’ve written about this before, but I think it bears repeating.
If you are in a counseling program chances are you have been asked to interview a private practitioner. And chances are you are very frustrated. Practitioners, if they are successful, are also busy. And when they are busy they are much less likely to respond to student requests in general, and particularly if they feel insulted or irritated. I’m here to help you increase your chances of success by pointing out all of the things that personally annoy me about these requests.
- Do not use first names. You are NOT on a first name basis with this professional person you have never met, so don’t pretend to be. The proper way to address a professional stranger, especially when you are a student, is “Mr.” or “Ms.” And please use their last name. And don’t forget to check their degree(s). If they have a doctorate for goodness’ sakes use the title “Dr.” plus their last name. It truly is best to err on the side of formality. If the person wants you to address them differently they will tell you.
- You are not honoring us with your request. Please don’t write your emails in such a manner as to indicate we should feel special because you chose us to interview. There is a big difference between stroking our egos (recommended) and acting like a consumer who has just made a purchase in a competitive market (not recommended). Which sounds better?
“I especially liked the unique way in which you wrote the articles on your website; the topics were both timely and interesting, not to mention informative” OR “I am choosing you to interview because like your style, I think you’d be fun to talk to”?? - Don’t give empty flattery. If you are going to flatter us (recommended) be specific. Don’t just make general comments like, “I really liked your website.” What did you like about it? Why were you drawn to it as opposed to the hundreds of similar ones out there? And, please, please, please, DON’T cut and paste. Really, it’s very obvious and we are insulted. Not only because you couldn’t spend the effort to research us more thoroughly, but also because you think you can put one over on us. Really, we notice this stuff. And we’re not fans.
- Respect our time. Don’t ask us to meet you somewhere that is out of our way. Offer to meet on Skype or telephone or email, assuming your instructor allows such venues. Work around our schedules and give us options. Tell us up front how long the interview will take, and if we do accept please stick to your time limits. And please don’t ask us to do stuff at the last minute. We really don’t operate that way.
- Don’t bait and switch. I recently got a call from a student and thought it was another professional deciding whether or not to refer me one of their cases. It was actually a student working on a case study assignment; there was no client. Was I annoyed? Do you think I helped this student? So be up front and clear that you are a counseling student seeking help with a school assignment. Describe the assignment in a few words. Do not go into great detail about the assignment — allow us to respond to your request. And be able to accept “no” as an answer.
I really hope this has helped you. You may have experienced practitioners either telling you “no” or not returning your calls. I hope that I have given you some insight as to possible reasons for this and how you can increase your odds of success.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
