Got your attention, didn’t I? This post will cover how to handle inappropriate sexual remarks from clients, as well as how to prevent them.
Before I start, let me say that it is never your fault as a counselor if a client is sexually inappropriate with you. Of course I am assuming that you are dressing and acting professionally. Still, even when you do everything right at some point in your career a male will be inappropriate.
Of course, females can be inappropriate as well, but I don’t think it happens nearly as often. Although this post will cover males being inappropriate, the concepts can apply to females as well.
What do I mean by that? Well, it could be anything from tell you that you are dressed well to telling you they want to have sex with you.
It’s best not to react strongly. Try not to blush or become flustered. Rather, treat this like any other clinical issue you must set boundaries around. Depending on the level of severity, your reaction may range from simply brushing it off to informing them the session is over and they must leave. If you can act bored, like this is something you’ve dealt with a million times, that is helpful.
Ideally, however, is to try to prevent this from occurring. Now, let me be clear. I am in no way saying that you are responsible for your client’s bad behavior. The client is. However, by doing a few things proactively you may prevent this uncomfortable situation from occurring.
Here are some things I suggest:
1. Professional behavior: start setting boundaries early by starting and ending sessions on time. Even on your initial phone contact, do not allow the client to start their therapy over the phone before they have signed paperwork. Stay on the phone long enough to address questions about your services, education, qualifications and cost. You do not need to know the details of their issue, that’s what therapy is for.
2. Professional dress: This means dressing conservatively, no low-cut blouses, tight clothing or short skirts. Heels and make-up are fine, as long as you don’t look like you are going out for the evening. And watch yourself when you lean over to pull a file out…do this in front of a mirror before you leave for the day to ensure clients don’t see too much of you.
3. Hold clients accountable: Institute a no-show policy and be consistent.
4. Discuss boundaries but don’t over-react: If a client crosses the line, try not to become angry or embarrassed. Instead, calmly explain what is therapeutic conversation and what isn’t. If the behavior continues, you can, and should, terminate the session. Under no circumstances should you continue to see a client that refuses to treat you appropriately. You deserve the respect!
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
