In this series of posts, I will address some common concerns of my practicum students. To start, I will discuss how to handle an overly talkative client.
In graduate school you learned how to be a great listener: how to get the client to open up and trust you, and how to encourage them to “tell you more.” What you probably didn’t learn was how to get them to stop talking.
Let me explain. I’m not suggesting you tell clients to “stop talking” or anything even remotely close to that. I am suggesting that most new counselors do not possess the tools they need to properly structure and direct counseling sessions because their graduate programs did not teach it to them. In the name of “being client centered” and “establishing rapport” new counselors often give clients far too much leeway in running the session.
Clients come to us because they are troubled. Often, they wait until things are in crisis mode before they seek help. Others may do so more proactively but often have anxiety disorders. Either way, clients often enter our offices bursting with things they want to tell us. They are often disorganized or pressured in their speech.
Although clients are responsible for the content, we are responsible for the structure. It is our obligation as ethically informed counselors to not allow clients to sidetrack or derail sessions. In essence, often we have to save them from themselves.
In that spirit, here are some tips:
- Use paraphrasing. I have found that my counseling students do not do this often enough. Every 3-5 sentences, stop the client (interrupt if necessary) and paraphrase what you have heard. Then, follow it with a check-out “Is that correct?”
- Ask for clarification. If the client is talking about something unrelated, don’t question your own assessment. It is highly likely that the client has gone off on a tangent. So, again, interrupt them and ask them how what they are saying is related to the initial issue(s) they brought to you. Remember to not allow any kind of frustration to enter your voice, otherwise it will sound judgmental and will shut the client down. Instead, use a concerned voice. After all, you want to make sure you understand the client.
- Use confrontation. This is another skill my students consistently underutilize. Remember to frame the confrontation in terms of confusion. For example, “I am confused. On one hand, you say xyz, but on the other you say abc. Can you clear this up for me?” Don’t be afraid to take the one-down position. When you confront a clients’ contradictory statements in an empathetic tone, clients will respond well.
- Interrupt. When done gently and judiciously, this can be of great benefit to the client. Usually they know when they are off-track and they expect you to keep the structure. Otherwise they could simply talk to themselves in a bathroom mirror. As you build rapport with the client, you can begin to interrupt more frequently.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
