What do you do if you see a client at the grocery store? Do you ignore them? Say “hello” back? What if they opt to disclose your relationship?
The first thing to remember is that when you became a counselor you gave up part of your rights as a person because there are going to be certain situations under which you cannot act as you normally would. One important example is when you have contact with a client outside the therapy room. You need to be prepared for such events.
So, what should you do? Under no circumstances do you initiate a conversation or a greeting. Remember, the client holds the privilege, and unless they address you first you could break confidentiality simply by acknowledging that you know them. If you think it’s likely you will run into them at some point (i.e. you live in a small town, or they go to your gym) then you should prepare them as to how you will act in the event you see them. For example: “I also go to gym xyz, so I want you to know that if I see you I will not acknowledge you. I’m not being rude, I’m protecting your privacy. Of course, if you choose to acknowledge me then I will respond but I will never disclose our relationship.”
If you do happen to see a client, and they say hello, then you can say hello back. Just follow the client’s lead. If they choose to disclose the relationship, that’s up to them. Even if they do, be careful you don’t say anything that violates their privacy, such as “Oh yes, I’ve been seeing this client for a really long time!” When this happens to me, I just smile and don’t say anything. The client’s disclosure does not give you carte blanche to start talking about the relationship.
Recently, I ran into a client at a networking event who partially disclosed our relationship, but not fully. When she recognized me, she was surprised and sort of exclaimed and then stopped herself, making it obvious that she wanted to say something but changed her mind. Of course this made others curious. When I was questioned about why the client was acting so strange, I said I didn’t know, you’d have to ask her.
But sometimes you’ll be taken off-guard. It may help to simply develop a more reserved demeanor, so that you pause before chatting up people you recognize on the street. This may make you seem a bit less friendly, but it will help save you from awkward situations and potential legal liability.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
