In this post, I provide suggestions for how to handle hidden agendas in therapy.
Do you have a client who just isn’t getting any better no matter what you do? He or she may have a hidden agenda.
How to Handle a Hidden Agenda
The best approach depends on how much rapport you have with the client. If you’ve been seeing them for a while, and previous confrontations have worked, then you can use your confrontation skills to expose the agenda. If you have good rapport but the client is very defensive, then you can gently point out the inconsistency as “confusing” you, and ask for clarification.
If you don’t have good rapport, then avoid confrontation because it will cause the client to think you don’t believe them and could negatively impact the alliance you are working so hard to build. Instead, keep the hidden agenda in mind during the session and when you make treatment decisions. Don’t allow yourself to get frustrated when the client is not admitting to the hidden agenda.
Lastly, if you are seeing a couple, avoid aligning with the truthful partner. Instead, you can validate different points of view and perspectives as normal. However, this gets tricky when the two realities presented by the couple are completely contradictory. What I have done in session to short circuit triangulation is to tell the couple that have no way of knowing what really happened, so there isn’t any point in arguing about it. In fact, I don’t allow couples to argue in my sessions. I then ask them to focus on the parts of the story they can agree on, and try to get them to recognize their individual contributions to the issue(s) at hand.
Lastly, it can be helpful to view the hidden agenda as a means of protection for the client. If they trust you enough, they just might tell you what is really going on.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barb LoFrisco
