I last wrote about this six years ago (that’s how long I’ve been writing for this blog!) so I thought it would be fun to give an update.
In the following list I will compare my original answers (from 2011) with my update (2017):
I enjoy deep talks
- Original answer: I’ve always enjoyed intimate, one-on-one conversations rather than “small talk” in a large group. I used to think it was because I was shy, but now I realize that’s just how I’m wired. I find large group discussions to be mostly superficial and meaningless. I’d much rather spend focused individual time with someone. That’s where true connections happen.
- Updated answer: I’m finding now that I appreciate balance more. I still think one-on-one conversations are more gratifying, however I’m finding I miss the more casual camaraderie that comes with a large group.
I’m “that friend”
- Original answer: I’ve always been “that friend.” You know, the one you go to with all of your problems. Everyone trusted me because I was like a vault. No matter what you told me, it never went any further. I was also a very empathetic and understanding listener. I actually ENJOYED hearing other’s problems, not because I wanted to see them in pain, but because I knew that was their way of connecting with me.
- Updated answer: Although this is still true, I find that I am much less willing to discuss someone else’s personal problems unless they are a very close friend or a client in my office. I have found that my boundaries in this area have grown stronger the longer I’ve been in the field.
I like the challenge
- Original answer: My job isn’t always easy, but it’s always interesting. I never wake up in the morning and dread going in. I love the fact that I never really know on any given day what will happen. So far, no matter how much experience I gain, there is always a new skill to learn, a new way to grow, or a new problem to tackle. Each day, my clients surprise, and therefore challenge, me all of the time.
- Updated answer: I still enjoy the challenge of my job. It amazes me that after 10 years, clients still manage to surprise and challenge me. Human beings are just so interesting.
It’s rewarding work
- Original answer: The work is also extremely rewarding. My clients let me into the most secret, painful parts of their lives. Often, I am the only one that knows these parts. The trust that my clients place in me amazes me. Often, they feel relieved just to have “gotten something off my chest” with an objective person listening in a non-judgmental manner. Sometimes clients feel so good after the first session, they don’t come back. Although this could be considered complimentary to me, it is actually detrimental to them, as we may not have addressed the root cause.
- Updated answer: Although it still frustrates me when clients self-terminate early, I understand now that what people want from counseling and what I think they need are often two different things. I have learned to take things closer to the clients’ pace.
Clients’ resilience
- Original answer: Sometimes, clients come in with abuse stories so awful I have a hard time believing it actually happened. I mean, here they are sitting in front of me and acting “normal.” The resilience of people is quite inspirational. When I am able to help them live even healthier lives I feel blessed.
- Updated answer: I still feel blessed when I can help people live healthier lives, but I find I’m more protective and maternal towards my clients. I’m less impressed with what I used to refer to as “resilience” and more concerned when my clients rationalize toxic situations.
Client feedback
- Original answer: The best feeling, however, comes when a client returns and tells me specifically how my intervention was helpful. I have had clients tell me they can hear my voice when they feel anxious or upset. They can hear me tell them what to do, and they do it, and it works. I have just improved someone’s life. There is no better feeling than that.
- Updated answer: I still feel exactly this way.
My advice
- Original answer: So, if you were considering a career in counseling I would ask you to get ready for some intense, emotional conversations with complete strangers. You will form the most intimate bonds with people you may never see again. You will hold the hands of the emotionally troubled without touching them. You have to be OK with that. Sometimes you don’t know what became of the client. You have to be OK with that, too.
- Updated answer: Wouldn’t change a thing.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
(Original) Barbara LoFrisco
(Updated) Dr. Barb LoFrisco
