In the last post, we discussed the reasons for avoiding detailed conversations about the client’s issue(s) at first contact. In this post, I will provide specific suggestions on how to establish empathy without violating boundaries.
It’s important to be businesslike, but we also need to create a connection with the client. Therefore, we don’t want the initial conversation to be solely about logistics. Not only are clients in pain when they call, but they are often nervous or anxious about speaking to a professional. So, what I recommend is a soft start.
A general rule of thumb is to follow the client. If the client calls, sounding calm, and immediately asks questions about logistics, then answer them. However, if you detect the client is upset, or they start talking about their issue I suggest going a bit more slowly. Whereas you shouldn’t engage in a detailed conversation about their issue, taking a moment to let them know you acknowledge their pain can make a big difference.
Some specific suggestions include: “I am sorry you are going through this,” or “of course you feel that way.” These statements are ways to demonstrate empathy without implying a counseling relationship.
Other Ways To Create The Connection
Another way to decrease client anxiety and create a connection is to make information available about yourself and your services. In addition to providing your licensure and areas of specialty, if you can communicate aspects of your personality or counseling style without violating professional or ethical boundaries, do so! Clients generally feel more comfortable with professionals they know a little bit about. For example, discussing a personal transformation in general terms is a good idea, whereas revealing intimate personal information about an internal struggle is not. So, talk about your career change but not your marital issues.
You can also create a connection visually by providing a picture or video about yourself. It really surprises me to see how many counselor’s profiles do not have pictures. Think about it: would you make an appointment to discuss intimate information with the outline of a head? I didn’t think so.
The Importance of Screening
Another purpose of the initial contact is to screen clients. Therefore, it’s appropriate to ask them to tell you a little bit about the main issues or problems to make sure you are a good fit. If they start going into a lot of detail, such as what happened on Tuesday, or they ask you for advice, you can stop them to explain that those are important details that need to be discussed in your office. As a general guideline, the entire conversation should not take more than 10 or 15 minutes.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barb LoFrisco
