Your client’s confidence in your ability paves the way for therapeutic change. Here’s how to appear confident when you feel nervous.
Let me start by saying that you should never practice outside your area of expertise. Meaning, before taking on a new population, mental disorder, or technique ensure that you have adequate training and/or supervision. At no time do we ever want to mislead clients into thinking we know more than we actually do. However, sometimes we are nervous and unsure of ourselves even though we have had adequate training. This post addresses that kind of nervousness.
As therapists, we have all heard about the “act as if” method: once we change ourselves we change how we interact with our environment, which in turn changes how others respond to us. In this way, we get to “try on” our new selves to see what it would be like to be different. Assuming our experience is positive, we then create motivation for change, while simultaneously getting a practice run of our new behavior. A win-win!
In this same way, we can improve our therapeutic relationship with our clients. Outcome research strongly suggests that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is key to successful therapeutic change. And one of the major contributors to the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the confidence clients feel in us. If they sense we are unsure, or nervous, they will lose faith both in us and our method, thus creating the very thing we so desperately want to avoid: failure.
Here’s how to inspire confidence:
- Posture. Remember SOLER? For best results, we should attend to our non-verbal behavior. More specifically, we should sit squarely facing the client with an open posture, lean toward client, make eye contact and be relaxed. For more detail on SOLER theory, pull out your notes from your masters program, or check out this presentation.
- Think optimistically. Visualize the change you will be able to make for this client, and how good they are going to feel that you understand them and their issue. Remember why you got into this field in the first place, and how rewarding it has been in the past when you have helped people change. Then, put a smile on your face and go out and greet your client.
- Educate yourself. Make it a regular part of your week to read counseling articles and blogs. Listen to podcasts, attend training. On a regular basis, read the self-help books yourself before recommending them to clients. Arming yourself with information can do a lot to help your confidence. (However, be careful not to turn your counseling sessions into a tutorial by constantly reciting facts and figures.)
- Remember your strengths. Keep a list of the things you do well as a counselor. Hopefully you’ve kept any positive emails or feedback from your professors and/or supervisor. Refer to both lists on a regular basis, and especially when you are feeling less confident.
- Good self-care. Yes, I know self-care pops up everywhere: it’s that important. Get good rest, good nutrition and exercise. If you feel sound in your body, you are more likely to feel sound in your mind.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barb LoFrisco
*Source: “How to fake it ’til you make it”, by Caroline Zaayer Kaufman, Tampa Bay Times, Sunday March 19, 2017.
