You are taught listening and attending skills in graduate school, where the emphasis is on getting the client to talk. But that’s only half of the equation. You also have to know how and when to make them stop.
Clients are in control of the content (with a few exceptions) and we are in control of the process (also with a few exceptions). Clients are the experts on their own lives, but we are the experts on how to correct maladaptive thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Therefore, it is up to us as counselors to guide our therapy sessions appropriately. Otherwise, why not just have clients look in the mirror and speak?
Sometimes, clients just need to tell their story. Part of your therapeutic skill is discerning when clients need to process their thoughts and/or emotions without interruption, and when they need guidance. And part of that guidance includes interrupting them.
Like any kind of therapeutic intervention, interrupting is done with an abundance of care and concern. One of my colleagues calls it a “Care-terruption.” Basically, if you notice the session seems off-track, you gently let the client know that you aren’t following how this current conversation fits into their problems and/or goals. And, yes, you interrupt them. Gently but firmly. With some clients, if you wait for a break in the conversation to interject your thoughts, the therapy hour will be over. Therefore, when you need to interrupt you will say something like this: “I hear you saying _____. I really want to help you, but I am confused as to how this fits with your ____ issue…?”
Interruption is very similar to confrontation, in that it tends to make counselors uncomfortable and is therefore a difficult skill to master. However, you can use your confrontation skills when interrupting clients. For example, when confronting clients it is often useful to take the “one-down” position; stating “confusion” over the current topic and asking them to help you out.
Remember, it simply isn’t ethical to allow clients to ramble on about something if it isn’t in their best interests. To be an effective counselor, we often must say things that make us feel slightly uncomfortable. The good news? With practice, this gets much easier.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
