We all know that empathy and unconditional positive regard are essential to the quality of the therapeutic relationship. But that isn’t enough to build solid working relationships with clients.
As clinicians, if we view ourselves as superior to our clients, due to our many years of training and experience, we risk constantly viewing clients through a pathological lens. If we’re not careful, we can forget that they are human beings just like us.
Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Not everything that happens or is said is therapeutic material. Sometimes, clients are worried or upset about something that anyone would be upset over. In these cases, responding without therapeutic intent is appropriate.
For example, sometimes clients come in complaining about other therapists they have seen in the past. This could be a red flag, but not necessarily. Listening carefully for the details of their complaint, and putting it into proper context is key. More specifically, if a client complains that he’s seen 4 therapists and none of them know what they are doing, that’s usually a red flag. But if he comes in complaining because the last therapist repeatedly cancelled his appointment at the last minute, or took a phone calls during session, then those are legitimate complaints. We can react more like humans and less like therapists by saying something like, “Wow, how unprofessional!”
Tips on Building a Professional Client Relationship
For me, building the client relationship occurs during the first phone call. I return all voicemails, emails and texts promptly. I end sessions on time so that I don’t run late. If I can, I will greet the client as soon as they walk in the door, especially if they are new. If I’m getting myself a drink of water, I offer to get the client one as well. Basically, I treat the client exactly how I would like to be treated if I were going to a therapist.
In sum, try to avoid presenting yourself as superior to the client. A more humble approach can reduce barriers and help achieve a much more effective relationship.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
