Therapist Dress – An Important Update

I recently received an email from a male describing what his therapist is wearing, and I was shocked. Let me explain why.

I have noticed a lot of controversy about female clothing lately. For example, some commentators are saying that if the clothing is too sexy, it’s distracting to men. This has created a backlash by some women who state that they have the right to wear what they want and men should just be able to control themselves; i.e. to judge a women’s outfit as too sexy is shaming and objectifying.

Combine this attitude with millennial casualness, and you get a lot of young female therapists dressing inappropriately.

Of course I am against the objectification of women. However, the reality is that what we wear affects the people around us. This is especially true for therapists. And it’s even more true for female therapists with male clients. This isn’t about you, it’s about your clients, and how they internalize your clothing choices.

The Male Perspective

Recently I received an email from a male who happened to find one of my posts on therapist dress. He decided to write to me to give me his perspective. He explained that he didn’t think his therapist was trying to seduce him, but he still found the following “distracting”:

1. Wearing a short skirt and repeatedly crossing and uncrossing legs
2. Low-cut tops
3. Visible underwear
4. See-through clothing
5. Constant adjusting of clothing (i.e. straps that won’t stay up)
6. Shorts
7. Removing shoes

Suggestions For Female Therapists

You don’t have to dress formally; however you do need to make sure you are covered.

Here are some specific suggestions:

1. Clothing should fit well but not be so tight that every curve is visible.
2. Tops need to be long enough so that your midsection is not exposed.
3. Tops should cover most of the décolleté area; no visible cleavage.
4. Avoid tops with spaghetti straps.
5. Clients should not be able to see down your shirt or up your skirt.
6. Your clothing should not be so tight-fitting that outlines of underwear are visible.
7. Do not wear sheer materials without a slip or tank top underneath. If you’re not sure, go out into daylight and see if the outline of your body is visible through the material.
8. Do not wear shorts or short skirts.
9. Do not wear athleisure, i.e. no yoga pants or leggings.
10. Do not wear flip-flops or sandals that leave most of your foot uncovered.

The more comfortable and less distracted your client is, the more effective the therapy.

Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,

Dr. Barb LoFrisco