A few years ago, I wrote a very popular post about “what not to wear” for therapists. My concern is that female therapists, particularly younger ones, may not be aware of the effect that their dress has on their clients. In this post, I will revisit that topic.
Both male and female clients may judge therapists based on what they are wearing, just in different ways. Men tend to sexualize therapists, whereas women tend to draw conclusions about character and competence. Either way, it’s wise to spend some energy dressing mindfully.
Don’t be sexy
Female therapists should avoid any clothing that is too form-fitting or too revealing because it can send the wrong message to clients. Obvious, right? Except the problem is what is to be considered too tight or too revealing. Based on what I have seen in some clothing stores, and what I see my students wearing, I think there is a trend toward tight-fitting casual clothing, which is fine for the beach but not your therapy office. Clothing should be properly fitted, but if outlines of your body are visible, it means the clothing is too tight. Material matters, too- a fitted dress in a thicker cotton blend may be appropriate, but that same dress in thin, clingy jersey material would not. If you are unsure about an outfit, take a picture of yourself both standing, sitting, and in bright sunlight. Seeing yourself in a picture gives you a more realistic impression than looking in a mirror.
When buying clothing, don’t listen to the sales help- in my experience, they are not the best judges of what is conservative. Instead, have strict guidelines in your head about what you are looking for (e.g. 2 button-up shirts) and determinedly stick to your list. And be sure to sit down, bend over, etc. in the mirror to make sure that the clothing appears the way you think it does. Bringing along a trusted friend and/or taking selfies will help you view yourself more objectively.
Don’t be frumpy
Make sure all of your clothing is pressed, stain-free, and doesn’t look worn. Before you hang something up in your closet, make sure it’s in good working order. If something doesn’t fit right, take it to a tailor and have it custom-fitted. It doesn’t cost much, but will make your clothes look like they did! If it’s stained, wash it. If the material is discolored, stretched, has pills or is otherwise worn-looking, pitch it.
Pay attention to detail. A well-coordinated outfit that makes you look put-together will send the right message to your clients. Employ a wardrobe consultant or friend with great taste to help you put together outfits if you struggle with this. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen great quality clothing that just doesn’t match! (Hint: just because your items are in the brown family don’t mean they automatically go together). Once the outfit is established, keep the items together or take a photo to help you remember. This will also save you time when you are getting dressed in the morning.
Last but not least, pay attention to your shoes. If they are scuffed, or the heel is discolored on your driving foot, either fix or pitch them. And for goodness sakes don’t wear open-toed shoes if you need a pedicure. Remember, if you can’t attend to detail in your outfit, clients may think you can’t attend to detail in the therapy session.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
