You all know (if you’ve read your textbooks) that it is essential to “establish rapport” with clients. But exactly how do you go about doing this? In this post, I will provide four essential tips.
Research shows about 40% of the change in counseling is due to the quality of the therapeutic relationship.
Does that surprise you? I know it surprised me the first time I heard it. I knew the therapeutic relationship was important, but I had no idea it was that important. Therefore, establishing rapport during the first meeting is of vital importance.
My first suggestion is to treat your client as a fellow human being. That may sound obvious, but a lot of therapists fail to do this. They see a walking problem, rather than a person. If you remember that your clients are just like you are, minus a few coping mechanisms, this will help you to treat them “normally.” When I was an intern, the secretary at the agency I rented space from commented that I greeted my clients in a cheery and straightforward manner, as if I was happy to see them. This reaction surprised me. Of course I treat them this way, I thought. I asked her, “as compared to what?” She told me that the other counselors did not greet their clients in the same manner, that they seemed much more wary and hesitant. I think clients can pick up on this, so maybe it was one of the reasons my clients tended to come back. So remember, first impressions are important. Look your client in the eye, smile confidently and shake their hand when you meet them. Treat them with respect and dignity right from the start.
My second suggestion is to focus on what clients want from counseling. As experts in human behavior and relationships, we may think we know better than the client what is wrong with them. That may be true, but assuming your client has voluntarily engaged you, they have a clear purpose in mind. So be sure to center the counseling goals around their needs. Once you’ve established a counseling relationship, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to give them more feedback, and perhaps influence their goals.
My third suggestion is to be the best counselor you can be. Ask for feedback from clients. Consult with peers. Keep up with developments in the field, particularly in your area of interest. Practice good self-care. Studies have shown that a main factor in establishing rapport is competence.
My fourth, and last, suggestion is to try to match your communication style to the client. If the client is soft spoken, lower your volume. If the client is high energy, drink some coffee before they come in. If the client has a visual learning style, draw pictures. Watch the client’s facial expressions carefully. Some clients enjoy humor in the counseling room, some don’t. So, be yourself, but be aware, and make small adjustments to your behavior as necessary.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
