LOL…or not? Humor can be an effective tool in the therapy room, but it must be used with caution.
A 2012 study says “grin and bear it”. Researchers found that participants who smiled (either naturally or forced) had lower recovery heart rates after a stressful event as compared to those with a neutral expression! If humor can reduce stress reactions in these participants, then perhaps it can also reduce stress during the counseling process.
What do Albert Ellis, Viktor Frankl, Sigmund Freud and Taylor Swift have in common? The belief that humor can help clients “shake it off”.
We all know counseling isn’t easy. Although we often describe the experience as a “friendly conversation”, it is often an emotionally difficult and uncomfortable one for clients. (And for us!) Humor might be a great way to get clients to relax, and thus help the process be more effective. And, according to Samuel Gladding, professor of counseling at Wake Forest University and past president of the American Counseling Association, humor can also help with insight and self-awareness.
Some Precautions
- Use it judiciously. As with self-disclosure, humor should be used sparingly, appropriately and only when you have established a strong therapeutic alliance. Seek supervision if you are unsure.
- Don’t force it. If you aren’t naturally funny your attempts at humor will come off as disingenuous. We all know Carl Rogers would hate that.
- Never use sarcasm. Respect for the client is paramount. And don’t try humor if you are in a bad mood.
- Consider culture. What might be funny in our culture might not when framed in the client’s culture.
- Do not trivialize. Be careful not to allow humor to invalidate a client’s feelings or concerns.
- Know your client. Some clients will react well to humor, some won’t. Start small and watch body language carefully.
You may have noticed (or not) my own use of humor throughout this blog. I don’t sit down and think “what can I write to be funny”, rather I allow my own humor to come forth naturally as part of my commentary. (Coffee helps). I am not a joke teller; I know that about myself. So, in my counseling office I do not tell jokes. Rather, once I know my client I allow some humor to come forth in my observations, which sometimes include the absurd.
I know, you want an example, right?
I do a lot of couples counseling. Routinely I get people in my office who are convinced they know what their partner is thinking and feeling at all times. As a result I find myself making absurd statements about this implied ability, wondering why they still have a job because if they could read minds they could win the lottery. Or why they are paying me if they could read my mind, then I don’t have to be in the room to do the therapy. The exact variation depends on my mood, the client and the circumstances. Huge dose of caution here: avoid such paradoxical statements until you know yourself, and know your client. It would be very easy for this to backfire into sarcasm.
Bottom line: humor is valuable, but first do no harm.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
* Based on article: “No laughing matter?” by Kathleen Smith, June 2015 edition of Counseling Today magazine, an American Counseling Association Publication
