Thirty to forty percent of change in counseling is due to the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Therefore, building rapport with your clients is of utmost importance.
Here are some suggestions on how to build rapport quickly:
- Use your active listening skills to understand the client and their story. Before you make any attempt at an intervention, demonstrate to the client that you understand where they are coming from. It may sound silly, but I actually visualize myself really tiny inside of their head. That seems to help me enter their world. You need to enter, and imagine living, within their world before you can respond therapeutically.
- Watch your speed. Your speed of intimacy in the counseling room, that is. Depending on the client’s culture, background, personality, etc., it may take longer to build the trust required to discuss more personal and sensitive issues. In order to assess the trust level, pay attention to both the content of what the client is sharing (some clients will only share surface-level details at first) and the client’s body language, as they will be important indicators of how much the client is ready to share. It is important to be aware of these non-verbal signals because not all clients will clearly verbalize their discomfort.
- Work immediately to relieve their worst symptoms. This isn’t just about getting them to feel better, although that is generally a happy side-effect. If they seem ready (see above) don’t be afraid to address their worst fears. Go for the low-hanging fruit; if there is a suggestion, intervention or information that seems like it will address most of the worst problems, go for that first.
- Treat the client with respect. This may seem obvious, but from your very first contact treat the client as an important person. Return calls promptly, start sessions on time, dress professionally, have paperwork ready for them, etc. Respect their time as much as you do your own. Imagine how you would like to be treated as a client, and adjust your behavior accordingly.
- Match styles. Watch your client and become aware of their communication style. A wise teacher once said that as counselors we were like tuning forks. Our jobs were to get the client to come closer to wellness, or normalcy (to be “in tune”). So, we should try to match our clients’ communication rhythm but stay just a little bit to the center. So for hyperactive clients, we stay on the calm side of hyperactive. For withdrawn clients, stay just on the expressive side of withdrawn. Often the client will mirror our style, and thus begin to calm down, or open up, whatever the case may be.
- Self disclosure. Disclosing personal information is also another way to build rapport. But be careful with this one. Too much disclosure, done too early and for the wrong reasons can easily backfire. For more information, please see the post on the skill of self-disclosure.
Remember, the counseling relationship is really the most important factor in the room. It matters more than the theory and interventions you use.
Yours in the Joy of Knowledge,
Dr. Barbara LoFrisco
