Navigating Relationships and Mental Wellness Insights from Marquita Maxwell Ep.75
Episode Overview
About Guest: Marquita Maxwell
Marquita Maxwell is a seasoned mental health professional with over 15 years of experience in counseling, specializing in holistic and somatic therapy. She is the founder and owner of Millennial Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting, where she focuses on providing innovative therapeutic services tailored to the needs of millennials and young adults. Marquita’s approach to counseling is deeply influenced by her belief in the interconnectedness of mind and body. This philosophy became especially significant during the pandemic when she noticed that traditional talk therapy was insufficient for addressing the complexities of her clients’ emotional and physical experiences. As a certified brains potting practitioner, Marquita integrates somatic therapy techniques, which emphasize the importance of understanding how emotions manifest physically in the body, offering her clients a more comprehensive path to healing.
In addition to her work as a counselor, Marquita Maxwell is an adjunct professor at Naropa University in Colorado, where she teaches courses on transpersonal counseling and mindfulness. Naropa’s emphasis on social justice, mindfulness, and transpersonal psychology aligns perfectly with Marquita’s holistic counseling approach. She mentors students in their practicum and internship stages, guiding them to integrate theory with practical experience. Her passion for teaching is evident as she nurtures the next generation of counselors, ensuring they are well-equipped to face the challenges of modern therapy. Marquita’s dedication to education and counseling has made her a respected figure in both academic and professional circles.
Marquita’s expertise extends beyond the therapy room and the classroom. She is a sought-after speaker and consultant, frequently presenting on topics such as tele-mental health, the ethical integration of AI in counseling, and relationship counseling. Her book, “B12: Being the One – The Relationship Vitamin,” is a reflection of her commitment to helping individuals cultivate healthy relationships with themselves and others. Marquita’s work is not just about addressing immediate mental health concerns; it’s about empowering her clients and students to build sustainable practices that enhance their overall well-being. Through her multifaceted career, Marquita Maxwell continues to push the boundaries of traditional counseling, advocating for approaches that are as dynamic and diverse as the clients she serves.
Episode Transcript
Becky Coplen: So glad to have everyone back on mastering counseling. We are thrilled today to talk with Marquita Johnson, who is both an owner of Millennial Counseling Coaching and Consulting, and she’s also been in this field for several years and is a licensed, uh, counselor. And she takes all of that knowledge as well and shares it with students at Naropa University out of Colorado. So thanks so much for being here today, Marquita.
Marquita Maxwell: Thank you so much for having me.
Becky Coplen: Let’s go ahead and talk about your approach to holistic counseling and just kind of your overall view with your vast knowledge, maybe kind of where it started and where it is now and your approaches Absolutely.
Marquita Maxwell: So I actually didn’t start in holistic counseling. I started in the regular Spangler talk therapy, and I actually got more interested in somatic based therapy or like holistic therapy. I’ve always been interested in but the somatic based during the pandemic. So a lot of clients, of course, were struggling and talk therapy just didn’t deliver the results as fast as maybe some of the other therapeutic models. And I was always interested in what was going on, in the lack of connection that a lot of patients and even myself had within my body. And so in that mind and body, and really seeing them as one was so powerful and critical in my therapeutic practices and in my own personal life, like it definitely transformed my wellness model.
Becky Coplen: All right. That’s so interesting. And that your personal experience, especially in the pandemic, kind of changed your approach, maybe. Can you expand on that a little bit and talk about how a session might have looked with you prior to the pandemic and then feeling a need for something else. And then how would it look different now in a session?
Marquita Maxwell: Absolutely. So I’m a certified brainspotting practitioner, so I often will bring in a lot of those components of anxiety. What does that feel like in your body. And then we may do like a body scan from head to toe, tensing our muscles and then relaxing our muscles. So we make the connection to understand when our body feels relaxed and when our body feels stressed, like intentionally for us to notice the difference. And so I find like that’s more in the forefront of my work now. Yes, you are stressed, yes, you’re anxious, yes you’re feeling overwhelmed or you’re sad or even joyful. But what does that experience feel like in your body like? Are you lighter when you’re joyful? Does it feel like you’re walking on a cloud? Does you know the theme music in the background, you know, plays like what happens when you have that experience because often, again, that connection is lost. We’re like, oh, I feel good. But it’s like, how does that feel in your body? Like, how are you absorbing that and seeing the brain and body as one and not two separate entities? And I think that was just so powerful in understanding that as opposed to like before, I am assessing for symptoms and I have a treatment plan. It just felt, you know, a little more like one, two, three step by step as opposed to somatically. And also dealing with like brainspotting and more holistic approaches were more relational. And I think that’s what I definitely appreciated. It felt so natural for me.
Becky Coplen: . Thank you for that detailed explanation. And all I can think about is I went and saw Inside Out two yesterday. And so when you’re like when you feel like joy and you’re walking out of here, I was like inside the There will be kind of. But, , that, . No. That’s amazing. And I work as a school counselor in elementary school, and, , I mean, you may be a I’m sure you hear from people in schools, but so much more of the body scan and that type of thing is happening for kiddos who, you know, are having a tough time and even, , a lot of the classroom teachers will take a little time after recess and kind of go through those moments with kids. So I just love the connection of things that are happening all around. So yeah, thank you for that breakdown. Have you seen the movie or are you.
Marquita Maxwell: It’s on my list. It’s on my list. I’m hoping to catch it over this holiday break.
Becky Coplen: So yeah. Well, I had not even seen the first one, which is embarrassing. So I watched that Monday and then saw the other one yesterday. But it was it was really good. They had some ones that you’re gonna love in your practice for sure, so I’m.
Marquita Maxwell: Looking forward to.
Becky Coplen: It Yeah. Well, let’s talk about your practice and even the name of it, I love it. Millennial counseling, coaching and consulting. So that is a whole lot happening , that you are providing. Talk to us about which parts you do, what other people work with you, just kind of the whole framework of your practice.
Marquita Maxwell: Absolutely. So originally I came across working with millennials as a college counselor. So I started working as a college counselor about ten years ago and fell in love. Absolutely. I was like, this is it. I have to work another job. Like I can see myself retiring. And and then it was just kind of like, okay, the day to day was so varied. And so like working with students at that stage of life is so interesting because there is like, you know, who do I love? What am I going to do with my life? Like career wise, that kind of separation from the identity of their parents and like, really forming and transforming their own identity and what they want to look like in the world. And who are they? So questions, you know, those existential questions you’re constantly asking yourself, who am I? What do I want to do? Who am I becoming? And so it was just a love for that population and helping them navigate a lot of relationship issues, like the relationship they have with their self, the relationship they have with others, their parents, their friends, significant others, and then their whole identity. So I’m looking at it as Erik Erikson, psychosocial stages of, you know, the intimacy versus isolation at that particular stage and just started combining those passions of offering the counseling part, but also knowing some people were in a place to receive more coaching, they needed more skills and building. And just like a good coach, helping them to lay that foundation was integral. So I started to branch off and do coaching and more specifically dating coaching around like helping visuals Visuals with communication and dealing with online dating and kind of navigating those various paths of their journey. And then the consulting part. I do a lot of consulting work with different organizations, such as Emory University, and really offering counseling services and or speaking services to help empower other professionals on their journey so they feel equipped with the resources as we’re, like, changing the face of counseling through Telemental health and I. So that’s one of my specialties.
Becky Coplen: Yeah, they’re going back to the millennials and how you started in college. It is such an exciting time. I kind of worked with all ages and they all but I almost more in a volunteer basis. Will I work with people in that age. And it is just such a fun time. And I think partly as you get older you’re like, ah, if I could go back, this is what I want and what I want for you to happen. So that’s really exciting. Let’s go ahead and talk about the whole telehealth and AI part of it, which a lot of it is just developing, but you seem to be a lot ahead of it a little bit. So give us some insights, especially for people coming into this and especially with AI. What’s your take? How is it helping and hurting?
Marquita Maxwell: Absolutely. So it will definitely revolutionize our field. It already has started to do so. And just as tele mental health five years ago was something like, oh, we’ll get there probably in the next 20 years or 30 years. And then the pandemic happened and we were kind of thrust into this virtual world. So I definitely think it has its benefits of, you know, the flexibility, the accessibility. Individuals can have counseling now from their computers, from their laptops, from their cell phones. So I am excited to see the increase in accessibility maybe for different populations who were marginalized or populations that would not have access due to transportation or health issues. , or they’re in health shortage areas. Believe it or not, there are still corners and pockets and areas where there isn’t a licensed professional counselor in that particular county or city or town. And so just that everyone now can have more access to it, I think has been amazing. Now with that, of course, you know, has to be boundaries and parameters. Having access to so much information without boundaries and parameters can be dangerous. And with that comes in eye for therapists and practitioners. I think it’s going to save us so much time and maybe some of the things that we don’t enjoy as much. So or maybe I’m speaking for myself because I love sessions like I will do 100 sessions a day if I could, but the notes can be just very daunting.
Marquita Maxwell: And so I think it can definitely help with transforming that side of it like the business side, and the more of the practicality of the work that we do, especially for solo practitioners and group practitioners, of course. So it can save us so much time, and then we can focus then on the client interactions and really being available and having that spaciousness to be present with our clients, which is so important because the therapeutic relationship is the foundation and basis for the success of the therapy. So I think that will definitely save us in just the note taking and maybe even helping, you know, therapists with that marketing piece for a lot of us didn’t go to school, you know, for a business or a business administration. So or marketing. So those skills are not as sharp. And we had to kind of learn on the go or take additional training. So maybe I can be a tool to aid in that, but also not solely, you know, depending on I. So ensuring that we also are continuing to get education around it and also advocating for spaces where we can continuously grow. .
Becky Coplen: Yeah. It makes me think how you’re saying there’s still parts of Georgia that don’t have a licensed counselor. That is an amazing thing. Or if you need a very specific type of counselor for a specific need, and maybe you go coast to coast because you need that, but you live miles and miles, so that is really great. And at the same time, there seems to be there’s such a need for people to receive mental health and oftentimes such long waiting lists. So lightning, the load on the therapists and counselors hopefully can provide more care, as you said, for the patients. So yeah, thank you for kind of giving us a full description on that. You had mentioned that you will do a lot of work in speaking for therapists and counselors, probably at conferences, I asse. Are you sharing on all of these topics, or is it more into the AI portion? Or just talk to us a little bit about what your specialty would be?
Marquita Maxwell: Right. So my specialty ranges, I focus in my practice a lot on relationships. So like counseling couples and individuals around relationship building relationship with self kind of that intrapersonal relationship. And then the interpersonal relationships that we have with others. And I always say the relationship we have with ourselves is the longest relationship that we’ll ever have. So we need to definitely invest in it. , which led me to writing a book on it. B12 b1 the relationship vitamin. So I go through the different BS of, you know, being intentional and being present. And so going through the different beads that you need in order to have a healthy relationship with yourself so that it can definitely benefit your relationship with others. And from that, I also specialize in talking about Telemental health. And now with AI coming onto the scene, the new little brother. , so I talk a lot about how to integrate that and the ethics around tele mental health and AI and how to show up and utilize both and leverage both resources to help propel your practice and also to help serve your clients.
Becky Coplen: That’s awesome. I love that, and congrats on your book. When did you write the book? And just tell us a little bit more about it. I missed that when I was looking into all the work you’re doing, so say the name of it again. B12 like the vitamin?
Marquita Maxwell: Yes. Being the one. Yeah, it’s a great book. It’s a quick read. So for those that are like interested in something but you want applicable steps. It also has some journal prompts after each chapter. And it really just goes through like being vulnerable Being intentional, communicating, giving you a lot of resources on how to deal with the relationship you have with yourself so that you will be ready when you meet the one and you won’t have to get ready, you know, because that’s like when I meet the one everybody’s talking about. The one, the one, the one. But you already want to be prepared and have resources in your toolbox. So I started to just compile all of the ideas and learnings that I have throughout my years of being a therapist, 15 going on 16 years, and I decided to write a book, and it’s been out since 2021 now. So yeah, right. During the the pandemic.
Becky Coplen: Well, as a huge fan of alliteration, I fully support the title and all the chapters. That’s really cool. I like that, and I for B12 as a vitamin itself is I forget what is that’s helping us physically is like energy. Okay. Yeah.
Marquita Maxwell: Yeah, it helps with energy.
Becky Coplen: Okay I love that. Very cool. So are you the sole practitioner of your practice? You are. Okay, so you’re doing. You are a busy lady. I am, I am.
Marquita Maxwell: I’m quite busy. The mom of a 16 year old, still like a junior in high school. I’m still like, taking media and also a student. So, yeah, I’m quite busy in the professor at Naropa, so I like to be busy though I think that’s the beauty in the work that we do is it can be so diversified, so you never get bored. , and you also have an opportunity to expand your skills and learn from others while you’re helping others to learn. So that nurturing of the gift that you have of counseling and therapy. So okay.
Becky Coplen: Very exciting. And then is that in connection with the courses you’re already teaching at Naropa, or what type of courses do you teach there?
Marquita Maxwell: Well, yes, in a lot of ways it is because it talks about helping to ensure that we’re empowering marginalized individuals that are able to seek out care, and Naropa specializes on the transpersonal counseling aspect and mindfulness. So that’s what really drew me to Naropa. It was started by a Buddhist monk. And so the underpinnings of the the philosophy and teachings there is all around a lot of like social justice and inclusion and also mindfulness and peace and being one for all. And so I was just intrigued by the mindfulness in of itself and the relationship that therapists have within themselves. As we go out and connect with others. It’s so crucial and vital to the work that we do. But also, you know, the professional identity can kind of take over sometimes. So how do we manage that in a real, livable, breathable way with practices in our own lives? And that helps keep us grounded so that we can be available to our families, our friends, our hobbies, our interests, and not lose ourselves in our professional title. .
Becky Coplen: All right. Very cool. So what would be the title of that course that you would teach.
Marquita Maxwell: So I teach a lot of the internship and practicum courses when I start a lot of the like CR which is counseling help and relationships. So a lot of the foundational courses also taught social multicultural counseling. But right now I’m kind of on the end of the degree program. Now, I moved from the beginning to the end, which I actually appreciate, because at this stage, the students are entering into their practice and like the hands on experience. So I really like to see the practical and then the like, real life work come together and help them navigate that, or balancing the hours and the paperwork in their own life circumstances that usually don’t stop just because they’re in, you know, a practical or internship like their own life. Things continue to grow. And then it’s like that parallel process of through something in my personal life and my client maybe going through a similar thing, and it’s kind of like, whoa, this is a lot to manage and really how to engage in self-care, because I always say it’s not what we do to ourselves. Sometimes it’s what we do for ourselves too. It’s like, I need to take a break. I need to re, , assess my caseload or reassess the things that I’m doing in this season.
Marquita Maxwell: Maybe I need to slow down. Maybe I need to speed it up. And so really, being intentional about, like, listening to yourself, body and brain, because sometimes our brain is like, go, go, go. But our body is like no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. You have to listen. Otherwise you will be like in the hospital or dealing with chronic illness because it’s like we’re not listening to our bodies. And so that was something that was a clue to me in my own personal journey of like, you have to listen to your body like you’re not that 20 something year old that you know, graduate school could just go, go, go. It’s like now your body’s like, . Sometimes you need to take a nap. You need to take a vacation. You need time off. And so yes you have to show up for yourself. So I really love teaching. It’s my first love. So I’m super excited that I get the opportunity to teach the students of Naropa. And I just witnessed my first graduating class in a cohort of students that graduated this past May. So that was super awesome. Yeah, yeah.
Becky Coplen: No, I hear that so much about the decade we’re in of our own life and what you can do. I mean, I feel like a day doesn’t go by that. I’m like, I feel like I only accomplished two of the 12 things I thought I could do when I was 21 or whatever. And. Yeah, yeah. And what I’m hearing you say teaching and leading the practic and internships is you’re kind of it almost is like you’re their coach while they’re getting their degree. Right. Getting them through it in real life and things, taking everything they learned and then trying to apply it. So what an exciting thing that you get to be a part of for sure. Let’s talk a little bit since about the focus when you are doing counseling, premarital and marital counseling, since you have focused on that more often. And sometimes I’m a part of premarital, my husband marries people and so we do a lot of premarital, which doesn’t always happen. And I think it’s so good for couples to do that. So talk to us about how you see that.
Marquita Maxwell: Absolutely. As you stated, Becky, it is amazing to have that foundation. And so I utilize a lot of preparing and rich and preparing and rich certified counselor and facilitator so I can train other therapists and it can really give you that assessment tool that I think a lot of times we miss because our partners may be telling us like, oh, you do this like this is something that you might want to work on. And we may be like, mm, no or may not be as receptive, but once we take an assessment we actually see it. We can like say, oh yeah, we make that connection. This is something I might need to work on. And collaborating with the couple can really again empower them with tools and resources like before going into the marriage. So it’s not like, okay, we’re being reactive. Like when things happen, then we’re seeking out therapy, but it’s like, let’s go in with the foundation and then we can build upon that because I see it time and time again. If we don’t have that solid foundation that we can build upon, then we can’t weather the storms because the storms are coming like they will come.
Marquita Maxwell: It’s just. And so, you know, you want to be sure that you have that solid foundation so you can weather any storm within the relationship because we can always rebuild, remodel, rehab. But if we got to go down to the foundation, like, that’s not a good thing, because redoing the foundation, you have to tear it all down and start from the beginning. Whereas then if we have a good foundation, it’s like good bones. I love like HGTV, so I utilize a lot of those references. I’m like, it has good bones. So you can like rehab and remodel and still continue. And a lot of times the so much damage isn’t done because that’s relationship trauma. And those hurts and wounds often take more time to be nurtured and more time to be healed. But if we’re proactive and we address those, we’re aware of our own relationship wounds or our own relationship trauma, then we may not reengage those in this particular relationship if we’re working on them and aware of them. So I’m all for premarital counseling and couples Counseling and and checkups and continuing that process throughout the relationship. Yeah, I.
Becky Coplen: Love all that so much and it is key. And just curious, do you find a lot of your clients coming for premarital? Is it clients you’ve had in that kind of college stage of life? And then they’re going to get married and they say, and maybe you even say this would be a good idea, or are they kind of randomly coming to you because of what other people have heard? I know it might be hard to say that exactly, but yeah, I.
Marquita Maxwell: Think it’s a combination of both. And so like I get a lot of referrals from online or different organizations because I’m out in the community, whether that’s speaking or serving. And so they may be aware of the services that offer word of mouth always. So so yeah, I love getting referrals from individuals that may continue. Or I always say sometimes they boomerang back like, oh they may do premarital counseling. And then five years down the road, I always offer them, like a year checkup, completed the premarital counseling. Yeah. Like check up and see how things are going for the first year.
Becky Coplen: Yeah. Great. , yeah, the first year, it’s always so different than, uh. And when we do pre-marriage counseling, you know, usually the pre-marriage everyone is super happy and so in love. And they just think they’ll never be mad. And it’s like, let’s have a little wake up call. And like you said, build the foundation. It’s almost a good thing when they have those challenges beforehand to see, how are you going to navigate this before you make the full commitment. So. Right, right. Yeah. That’s great.
Marquita Maxwell: Going into you have some insight. Of course, you can’t prepare for everything, but a counseling piece can be so beneficial because you also have that third unbiased party there that can offer you tools and feedback. And definitely having a married couple, I think is a huge benefit bring into the reality of what a marriage is and a relationship, and how much work it is. And I always tell people this like, you know, it’s the probably the most rewarding work, but also very difficult work right up there with parenting, because it’s going to bring out the best parts of you and not so good parts of you like it is bound to happen, and so you have an opportunity to embrace the growth of that, or to like, step back from it because it feels so overwhelming. And so I always say like, embrace the growth because growth can be growing pains, but it can also be nourishing and helpful and enlightened. And so like being able to balance those two and not just thinking like it’s all bad, like growing pains is uncomfortable, but thinking like, what is it going to result in like that growth? Interestingly, like internally but also externally. And that may be something we don’t even know, like other people looking at us. And witnessing like our journey?
Becky Coplen: Yeah. I think also just setting aside the time to say we’re working on this before it completely carbles. You know, just like exercise or whatever it is, it’s like, especially in a marriage, if you don’t specify this hour, it may not happen. So I, I agree wholeheartedly. Let’s, , just talk a little bit about we talked some about AI already, but are there any other tools that have helped you, especially since you’re the sole practitioner? Anything else that’s helped you to manage the practice well as far as scheduling your time, your time off, , handling referrals, caseload, all of that?
Marquita Maxwell: Yeah, a lot of the EHR systems I utilize council only because I’ve had it so long, I’m like, don’t want to switch my data all over. So it manages appointments and my private practice is pretty probably small in comparison to others because I am doing so much. Well, I guess maybe when I always say small, I’m like, oh, I may see like 10 or 15 classes a week. And some people are like, oh, that’s a lot. And so I could see anywhere from like 10 to 15, , clients per week. And for some of these, they’ve been, you know, ongoing clients so that I’ve had for some time. And it definitely helps manage. I can help with the schedule like no other. And so you can plug in like, and I’ve been helping clients to utilize AI when they’re becoming overwhelmed with, say, searching for a new job or trying to get a schedule down and all the way up to a dating profile. We did that last week. It can really be beneficial, right? Oh yeah, they absolutely loved it because they get stuck sometimes on overthinking and oh, I don’t know the right words to say.
Marquita Maxwell: And I’m like, let’s just, you know, put some things in. And if it’s not what you want to say, then you can change it and edit it. But sometimes getting started can be really a real big hurdle for a lot of people. So once you start, then you can kind of get the moment to keep going. But yeah, I would always say try putting in a schedule. Say, I want to wake up at 8:00 and I want to go to bed at 10:00. And I’m a PhD student, I’m a mom, I’m a soccer coach, and I want to exercise. And it’s like, give me a schedule that encompasses all of that, and I want to take an hour lunch and boom, I is going to spit out a schedule for you. Wow. Just like we’re right, you may sit down for hours trying to, like, go over schedule and oh, I forgot about this. And it’s like it’s already done. You can edit it or you can keep it the same and see how that works.
Becky Coplen: Yeah, well, that’s good to know. I’ve taken that one. That’s the personal tip I’m taking out for me. I have used it. I feel like it is. It’s like a brainstorm when you’re black, like you know, the most. I’ve used it been like, I need a word, a synonym for this. And it’s just amazing because you can’t. Uk. You’re not a walking dictionary. , but for scheduling, that is really good to know. I’m going to have to look into that. So. Anything else that you feel like we didn’t get to cover today, that you would want newer people to the field to know about, or any other advice?
Marquita Maxwell: I think we covered a lot. Becky, someone newer to the field. I would just encourage them to get a mentor. I think that’s something that I wish I had and I always, I have this long list of I wish I would have done this when I was a student. Yeah. Or a new professional in the field. And so I always encourage my students to seek out a mentor, someone that can walk this journey with you and can support you. Because sometimes other people being in our family and friends, meaning, well, it’s a particular type of work that we do. And I always say it’s hard work, but it’s also hard work. And so it can be all encompassing at times. And so really getting someone that understands what the journey looks like and maybe can help you navigate your goals in a way that’s aligned with your own values and your life, and so you don’t become so overwhelmed or burned out and leave the field because it is what it is like. It’s overwhelming and it’s a tough job and everyone can’t do it. So I’m very fortunate to have been in the field this long. And so I’m excited to like, help nurture though the next group. So, you know, I tell my students like, uh, 15, 16 years, like I’m on the other side looking forward to retirement. So definitely eager to nurture them and support them as they begin their journey.
Becky Coplen: Yeah, I think that’s a great ending point. , because, yeah, there’s it is such heavy work, you know, you never know what challenges people are dealing with and especially people who we wade into people’s trauma and things, you know, they’re real people and relationships and real hurts And they do weigh on you. So it is good to have an outlet and someone to guide you and tell you when you need that day off or whatever it is. So yeah. Well, thank you so much. It was really fun to hear about. I feel like you’re doing so much, so many things, but I love the relational piece and the couples and as well as the tech side, I don’t even know if tech is the right word anymore, but the AI side and yeah, thank you for your insights on that.
Marquita Maxwell: Thank you so much, Becky, for having me as a guest.
Becky Coplen: For sure. To our listeners of Mastering Counseling, please leave us reviews. If you want any questions or have any comments, leave those on social media. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and see inside out two if you haven’t seen it.